Week Three Journal: Meditation is a new high

Our assignment was to journal our meditation. We were to meditate one day a week until the next class and journal our reactions. I mainly use sound meditations in the morning. Each meditation lasts around 10 to 15 minutes.

Day 1:

I meditate in the morning before work. My body feels good. It is quiet (no screech drills, music or garbage trucks), so I do not need music. I feel peaceful afterwards. After meditation, I do a short yoga routine to stretch out as I am slightly sore from the day before. During the day, I find that it is easier to make decisions. I find out that I lost a photography contest. It hurts, but it doesn’t derail my day. I have a long drive the next day and it may snow. I do not even get stressed. I just play it by ear.

Day 2:

I wake up early. I am a little anxious about whether or not to drive in the snow. I do the three breaths that Thich Nhat Hanh described in his book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, and this alleviates my morning stress. It gets me out of bed. I can do this. I can deal with this. I meditate with sound laying down on my yoga mat. I find that time today is level. I can gauge how much time has passed. My grasp on the present and future is loosening. After a long day of errands, I make good decisions effortlessly. This is new. I am a type A person. A regretter. A second guesser. But I feel peaceful. I experience an upsetting microagression in what I thought was a safe space. I am able to get the rest of my errands done.

Day 3:

I am exhausted. Mentally and physically. I had an incident where I was on the receiving end of a microagression and it took a bit of a toll. I meditate for 10 minutes with a YouTube sound meditation and lay in bed for awhile. Doing the journaling helps me write through the experience. I feel better and get on with my day. Later at night, I am feeling wide awake and unsettled. I listen to a sound bath meditation and drift to sleep.

Day 4:

What in the world is happening? I am craving yoga and meditation. I brew my coffee and meditate on my yoga mat in the sunshine. I do a quick 10 minute yoga stretch. I do a half hour yoga session that night. I notice that my feet are not cold. Previously, I have had to wrap them in a heating pad to keep warm while working on the computer. A friend contacts me for a print of one of my IG posts. Maybe I am an okay photographer?

Day 5:

The garbage trucks wake me up. And I am not angry? I feel no annoyance. I just get up, brew coffee and meditate. I do ten minutes of meditation and fifteen minutes of yoga before work. I feel like I am doing expensive quality drugs in the best way possible. I am calm. I am secure in my decisions. And I am able to play things by ear. Who am I? Because this is not normal me. I am making better decisions at work. I am confident. And the most important change – I am taking my full lunch instead of frantically working though my breaks. I meditate at night to music.

Day 6:

Same routine: Coffee, meditation, and light yoga. I practice in front of a mirror and pretend I am instructing myself. While today is a frantic day, I get through it without the usual stress. I have a bad call and then a caller that hangs up on me. Yet it doesn’t get to me. I trust my instinct. It is pouring rain. I go to the 900 shops to see Fleur de Ville. Despite being swamped at work, despite pouring rain, something inside said I needed to go today. I go and smell the pretty flowers and marvel at how the stores have changed. I run into a friend and because of low attendance am able to make a paper peony for free.

Later that night, I attend a yoga / sound bath. I love the yoga but I do not feel the usual effects of the sound bath. There are lots of distracting noises. I stay awake at the sound bath ( I fell asleep before – and woke my own self up snoring – I was embarrassed). I am energized and stay awake until 1 am. But when I do sleep, I sleep deeply. My fit bit shows an increase in deep sleep.

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